I started Stay Soft a couple of years after I started to learn the power of femininity and how implementing it in your life can bring reward. Especially growing up with two brothers in a culture that grooms their women to be masculine and in a society that created an environment that gives many of us no choice. I realized that I had a lot of trauma that caused a certain level of hyper Independence that many of our women have.
Black women have been criticized for being masculine but people fail to acknowledge the conditions and experiences that place us here. If men are our opposite equals and black women are masculine then there must be a mishap within our mens masculinity as well. I started to realize that most of us have been on a masculine path our whole lives and there has never been a separation of the sexes. Daughters are being raised and stirred down the same pathway as sons. Us walking as complete equals instead of opposite equals has caused men to not look at as something to provide and protect for but something to provide and protect with. Causing damage to both women’s femininity as well as our mens masculinity.
As I explored my Femininity there were a few bumps in the road. I started stay soft at a time when I was in situations that went completely against who I was and I needed to remind myself of my foundation. At a time where my femininity was being taken advantage of and I slowly felt my softness, my confidence and jovial spirit being robbed from me. I want to keep that spirit in me. The goal is to be a happy old lady , not old and bitter . But a woman’s experiences can lead her down the latter if she allows it . I still haven’t mastered the art of being soft yet stern. How to set boundaries and not allow my emotions to tear them down. Being too soft can get you completely walked over . There has to be a healthy balance. Stay Soft but keep that dog in you .
I dedicate these series poems to the next generation of ladies that will be out here trying to find their way . May my pain redirect you in a better direction .
Nov 17, 2022 S/O to @thelovebelowspeakeasy for letting me grace the stage for the first time.
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